Dear Man Blog
I’m writing to you because I’m so depressed. Life just isn’t turning out the way I thought it would.
First of all, I haven’t been getting much sleep lately.
I like sleeping face down, but that presents a problem because I have an unusually large cock. It keeps puncturing my bed (I own a waterbed because no other bedding material can relax me so). Before, I would just buy waterbeds everday to replenish my supply. But since that had become tedious, I simply bought all the waterbed stores and their respective companies in the country just so I wouldn’t have to keep on withdrawing money from one of my several Swiss bank accounts.
Anyway to get back to my problem, I tried sleeping on my back, but my penis is too heavy that it makes breathing difficult when it rests on my stomach and chest as I lay sleeping. I tried sleeping on my side, but whenever I do that I have a tendency to smother 3 of the 10 girls that insist on sharing my bed each night. With my penis.
Speaking of girls. I’m having sex with one right now. I’m balancing the laptop on her back as I’m typing this. I didn’t want to because I’m too tired. But she insisted. So I gave in because she’s so beautiful. In order to describe her, I’d say she looks a lot like Morena Baccarin (because that’s who she is). Sometimes I feel like—-Oops hold on, we have to change positions. Now I’m balancing the laptop on her tits.
Anyway as I was saying, sometimes I get so depressed about how life is just too damn hard that I blow off steam by swimming the Pacific Ocean while lifting weights. And this is becoming a problem because it’s cutting into my studies of finding a cure for cancer.
Holy fuck, I can’t think straight anymore because Morena is orgasming right now (her 11th I believe) and she can be really loud. Which is good I guess because maybe now I can get some sleep.
In addition to that, my father just returned the ocean liner he borrowed from me last month and he did not fill up the gas tank!
Sometimes I feel like killing myself. I’m running out of ideas here. Please help me. I feel so alone.
Thanks.
10:40 AM
honey, youre the unluckiest man alive!
10:49 AM
I am unable to reply to your comment. As I have killed myself.
03:56 PM
how about sharing a photo? Yey.
where is the 2nd of all and finally? hehehe.
funny entry, btw.
05:45 PM
you have a hard life. :(
06:44 PM
and an equally hard…determination.
06:51 PM
Doorlight: I tried taking a picture of me, but my penis wouldn’t fit. I tried squeezing it in my camera, but when I tried uploading the pic, my computer exploded. I’m posting this telepathically.
Boys: Sex, sex, sex. Is that all you can think about?
10:06 PM
I think you should file for a change of name. The moniker Dick Longschlong would best suit you.
01:53 PM
Isa ka bang…...adik??? hehehe
I would suggest that you star in a porno flick where your large dick would be the unadulterated superstar.
I know…you don’t need the money, consider it a charitable work for all the women and gays out there, you being God’s gift to them and all.
It’s a pity you have so much on your mind right now…
tough luck, my man, life sucks…big time
04:19 PM
please send picture of dick. this is just part of our analysis on your depressed condition. send as soon as possible. we’ll be waiting.
04:37 PM
@Pau interesting. really interesting. closes my eyes
04:40 PM
YES!!! We would love a picture, a video of it if possible. And if it’s not asking for too much, we want a footage of the “GREAT DICK” while he is in action…
hahahehe…
06:33 PM
Dammit girls! I have a real problem here, and all you can do is make fun of me! I think I’m going to have to kill myself. Again! I tried killing myself yesterday, but I just found out that the only thing that can harm me is Kryptonite, and I’m fresh out!
Also, please join our forum.
06:50 PM
they’re not making fun of you, they really want to see your dick.
07:11 PM
Join the forum and we’ll talk about it. I have to warn you though, talking about my dick could take years!
01:46 PM
honey…to see is to believe
10:12 PM
I bet its not as big as mine
10:27 AM
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