Steel's End of the Year Year-Ender
As the year draws to a close, I look back at my most defining posts (and by “most defining” I mean “measly few that left me with very little to be proud about”) which made mark both in terms of dickery and public service. Also, everyone else is posting stupid new year’s lists and pointless recaps for 2007 so why can’t I?
January – I started the year right by writing something about every man should know uhm, about – the testicles. Yep, not only those dangling bags of ‘nads do give someone the nerve to bet in poker with a pretty ridiculous hand, but also determines whether homie-g-dawg needs ta bust a cap in his punk neighbor’s ass cuz his newborn baby’s hair is blonde.
February – I had as much fun as writing about caressing the nutsacks as I actually tried doing it to myself. Moreover, I gave writing an album review a shot which apparently did not get a good feedback from our jolly good editor-in-chief Mikey. Dillhole!
March – The editors held more drinkathons, resulting to me not only coming home blind drunk every weekends, but becoming a lightning rod for fagtricity (eh?).
April – This is when I got to get in touch with my deeper overflowing masculinity as I celebrated the joys of being a bachelor and shared tips about improving the taste of man-spunk to lesser men.
May – Nelly Furtado’s hips is teh lurve! Forget about her eardrum-piercing shrieking and incomprehensible rapping. The lady can grind, yo! If you don’t think Nelly Furtado is physically hot then congratulations, you’re a cyborg.
June – You thought I could get away with as much racism jokes as I could come up with by cloaking a racialist entry as a supposedly informative article. Wrong! Exposing our ways in writing did not save us from pitchfork and torch carrying crowds from other countries.
July – I had an epiphany. I will never rest until evil subsides.
August – I’m never writing anything that includes the words “x86 processor” or “byte” on account of it repels women. An article about dating multiple women can never make up for such disgusting geekiness.
September – There is but one word that can describe my burning desire to rape a comic book – JUSTICE!
October – So I finally lost my mind at work and decided to resign. Hooray for unemployment!
November – Coco’s conception of creating a slumbook entry raised speculations and concurrence. We all went for the latter.
December – December is the twelfth and last month of the year in the Gregorian Calendar and one of seven Gregorian months with the length of 31 days, during which I was in a mental coma.
