Coco From 13 Years Ago Sorta Covers the WWF Mayhem In Manila Tour!
No gay jokes this time; I just wanted to show you guys something really cool (or exceedingly pathetic, which ever way you look at it). It’s a collection of newspaper clippings which I’ve kept since I was 11 years old.
Righty-o, “PATHETIC,” it is.
Anyway, these relate to the then-World Wrestling Federation’s Mayhem In Manila Tour of 1995, which was headlined by top-tier names like The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, Yokozuna, Owen Hart, and the greatest wrestler to ever don a yellow jockstrap over his head – The Portuguese Man O’War, Aldo Montoya.
My Dad took my brother, a cousin and I to the May 22 show at the Araneta Coliseum, and at the age of 11, I definitely had no idea that I’d be writing a recap for this 13 years later on a thing called a “blog,” where phrases like “Jesus LOL,” “Banana Gangbang,” and “2 Girls 1 Cup” would abound. So pardon me if I wouldn’t be able to give a complete play-by-play, but I’ll just list down the things that I do recall from the event (given the card that was set for the show we attended), along with some random trivia.
-Shawn Michaels came for a promotional visit a couple of weeks prior to the shows, the same way Mick Foley and Batista did for their respective Raw and Smackdown tours of Manila in 2006. He even filmed a commercial for Colt 45, but I couldn’t find it anywhere online. I do remember him uttering the words “Colt 45 Malt Liquor!” in that distinct, gruff, sexy voice of his.
-Shawn Michaels also took on the IRS in a match, and at one point went out of the ring to get the crowd to chant “Ir-win! Ir-win!” to rile his be-suspendered opponent up.
-Yokozuna’s thighs occupied half the ring. I swear to God, the guy was HUUUGE. With the accompaniment of WWE Hall of Famer Mr. Fuji, Yoko tagged with Owen Hart to wage war against “The Allied Powers,” which was comprised of “The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith and Lex Luger.
-I don’t know if you guys would notice, but four out of the ten people featured on this ad are deadsies (Hart, Bulldog, Yokozuna, Bam Bam Bigelow), and one’s a quadriplegic (Luger). Bad times.
-Similar to how the company flew Hornswoggle halfway around the world to simply punch Matt Hardy in the nuts in 2006, they brought along Doink the Clown’s dwarf sidekick Dink during the ’95 Tour, to act all midgety and such.
-My Mom is a real douche for giving away my collection of WWF action figures to “the needy” back in the mid-‘90s.
-My Dad was a real pansy for not bringing a camera, fearing that it would be confiscated by building security.
-Out of all the Superstars who performed in this Tour, only two were able to return during the WWE’s string of shows in Manila 11 years later:
1. The Undertaker. He came with pudgy manager Paul Bearer (also the baby daddy to Taker’s half-brother Kane), and faced Bam Bam Bigelow in ‘95. He also got his ass nearly beat by Mr. Kennedy (Kennedy!) during Smackdown’s Survivor Series Tour show in October 2006.
2. Big Daddy V. He wrestled as the newly-crowned King of the Ring – King Mabel, and parterned up with Sir Mo (they were formerly known as Men On A Mission) in a match against Billy and Bart, The Smoking Gunns in ’95. He famously dry-humped Gene Snitsky’s ass as Viscera during Raw’s Live In Manila event in February 2006.
-Other than the abovementioned wrestlers, the following also performed during their four-night Philippine visit: Adam Bomb, King Kong Bundy, Kwang, “The Supreme Fighting Machine” Kama Mustafa, Duke “The Dumpster” Droese, and Henry Godwinn.
I’ve got plenty of other facts to share, like how Kama Mustafa used to wrestle as Papa Shango and subsequently as The Godfather (The Good-father during his Right to Censor days), or how Duke Droese handed Triple H his first loss in the WWF, or how Billy Gunn is the only wrestler on this Tour’s roster that’s presently employed by TNA Wrestling, but you wouldn’t really care now, would you?
You heartless animal. I ought to kill you.
Muchos gracias to Bim for watermarking the images.
