Know Your Male Anatomy Series: Taking Care of the Yarbles
The testes may continue to produce sperm and testosterone until a man reaches his 80’s. However, not recognizing situations that can place the nutsack in danger may cause serious problems in the here and now. Cycling, throwing back too many beers and cigars, and even wearing tight jeans can all affect how well your giblets will perform when it’s time for them to step up to the plate. Here are a few stuff every man needs to know in order to keep these small fellas swinging happily.
Eggs are to be stored in room temperature
Like I said earlier, heat can greatly affect your jewels’ wellbeing. To ensure proper production of hale and hearty sperm, they must be stored in a temperature of at least two degrees lower than the body’s. Forget about hot-tubs, for heat is directly applied to the testicles when you’re soaked in one. The same goes for professional jeepney drivers who have no clue that the warm air emanating from their engine gradually bakes their orbs without them knowing it. Good thing they’re able to get away with their “sweet lover” reputation. But I digress.
Tight-fitting lower garments that pull the genitals closer to the body, like tight jeans, can overheat the testes and hamper its sperm production. While switching from briefs to boxers hasn’t been proved to make much of a difference, wearing loose fitting clothing that’s breathable can do your stones well.
Cigs and booze will make them loose
You might have heard a gajillion times that smoking is bad for your health, but you still won’t budge. Let me tell you what it does as far as fertility is concerned: Moderate smoking may cause DNA breakage and an increase in free radicals (Yeah, the best things in life are free. Right.), which enter the testicle tubes and badly affect sperm. Heavy smoking may harden the arteries, which includes blood vessels that deliver sufficient blood on the willy, causing erectile dysfunction. Not being able draw your gun is even far worse than shooting blanks!
On the other hand, a sagging layer of fat around the beer belly and upper thighs not only prevent you from seeing your pride and joy, it also makes the testicles warmer than they need to be. Fluid input greatly influences the quality of fluid output. Remember the time your girl noticed a subtle hint of sweetness on your jizz after you had nothing but pineapple juice and fruit shake for five straight days? I do. Too much alcohol decreases sperm count and increases the number of abnormal sperm one can ejaculate. If you can’t walk straight after a few bottles, just imagine how poorly a few million tipsy sperm cells swim.
Cycling can be restricting
Sitting on a narrow seat displaces most of the body weight onto dozens of nerve bundles that lounge between the scrotum and the anus, or the area particularly called the perineum. Staying on that position for long hours is like putting your yoyo in a sleeper hold. Have you noticed how tingly (or sometimes numb) that area can feel after 20 to 30 minutes of continuous cycling? That’s because blood and nerve impulses have been restricted to the prostate, which over time may cause erection problems and lowered sperm count.
If you are one who is into biking, whether outdoor or stationary, pick a cushioned oval-shaped seat preferably with a hole or split in the middle. If you are stuck with a hard slim seat, get off the bike every 20 minutes or at least lift yourself off the seat every few minutes as you ride. Also, neon green or bright orange cycling shorts fend off heat, so make sure you wear them especially when you ride on a hot weather. Ok, the last one I made up so people can make fun of you. Green cycling shorts…what a gay! *snort
Getting hit below the belt not only deducts points
A swift, wicked shot to the sac is not as funny as how America’s Funniest Home Videos have made it to be, especially when you are on the receiving end. The scrotal pouch is filled with nothing but a fibrous capsule and blood, with no extra muscle or bone to protect our treasured jewels from injury.
It is a good thing the testes are quite capable of avoiding shock since they are free to literally roll with any type of blow. Although permanent damages to the testicles are rare, they can still acquire small rips or cracks, causing leaks that could potentially affect their ability to produce sperm.
Solution: Since the nuts are up to fight their own battles, make sure to cover them up with a protective cup. If someone was able to execute a nasty goal kick on them, apply a cold compress for several minutes to ease the pain then consult a medical expert or a urologist immediately.
Sure you might have the biggest set of balls in your neighborhood. But these fellas will be useless if you won’t give them the proper care and treatment that they deserve. Throwing back the right amount of Vitamins C (antioxidant), D (for improving fertility), and Zinc (for consistent sperm count) can keep you primed for action. You may be accused of thinking with your hefty unit, but what’s underneath is equally important.
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