Man-Blog

Know Your Male Anatomy Series: The Prepuce

Editor: Kinkylube | Section: the-nasty | Email this | Viewed 4122 times.

You know, ever since the day I realised that I have a penis, I’ve been curious to no end as to what the different parts are called. The cockhead’s proper name is the glans, and the foreskin’s proper name is the prepuce. The elastic band of tissue under the glans that connects to the prepuce is called the frenulum. And the white cheesy stuff that accumulates when you don’t wash for days is called smegma.

Anyway, what I want to talk about today is the foreskin, a fairly underrated part of the male anatomy. Many men out there do not have pleasant memories of their foreskin. I’m sure most of you are familiar with that oft-experienced predicament of getting your foreskin caught in a zipper when you were a kid. Hence, some men might consider their foreskin more of a liability than an asset.

While I can’t pretend to speak for all you manly man-blog readers out there, I love my foreskin and I’m glad my parents didn’t make the mistake of having my dick circumcised when I was a baby. You see, having an uncut dick has its advantages, and I’ll offer up a few reasons to explain why.

1. When you’re taking a shit, your foreskin shields shitwater and shit from splattering on your cockhead.

Sure, if it’s your own shit it’s probably okay, but who knows whose shit has been in the shithole, especially when it’s a public washroom? In these trying situations, having a foreskin helps to put your mind at ease. It’s a natural, God-bestowed shield against filth that you do not want splattered on your beloved sex tool.

2. Having a foreskin affords you some no-frills entertainment while peeing

Hey, we’re no homos, so get your mind out of the brokeback gutter. It’s not what you’re thinking. But if this is what you’re thinking, check this out (NSFW).

Anyway, some of you might have tried this. If you’re haven’t, here’s how you do it: The next time you’re peeing, pinch your precious foreskin together at the tip to stop the urine from flowing out. If you’re already peeing, your pee-pee will start swelling up into a nice pee balloon. When it gets too full and your pee starts to trickle out, let go and your pee will make a nice splash, sort of like a mini-urine tsunami.

3. Your foreskin provides extra grip that protects your cock from serious injuries

This one’s all about grip. Unless you’re a rapist, you’d want at least a few minutes of oral pleasure, that is, fellatio, before you play hide the salami with the woman of your life. Having a foreskin gives her hand—- or hands, if you’re hung like Pau —- better grip compared to a smooth, circumcised, foreskinless cock when she’s stroking your lizard. I mean, doesn’t it make you cringe just to imagine how she might slip and sprain your cock blue-black because of a lack of grip? So if you’re one of the lucky ones to have a foreskin over your dicky, be thankful.

4. Your foreskin can become a humourous topic during awkward moments of post-coital conversation

All you horny girls who enjoy reading The Man Blog have got to admit this: foreskins are cute because they remind you of elephant trunks, or friendly meat cannons.

5. Your foreskin can enhance your sexual pleasure

If you have a foreskin, and you’re a chronic masturbator like all the editors here at The Man Blog, you’ll know that nothing beats having foreskin when it comes to beating your meat. That sensation of stroking your schlong all night long, the barely discernible sound of rolling your foreskin around—- what can I say, it’s exquisite.

6. Your foreskin can make you feel like an action hero

Regardless of whether you’re choking your lizard in private, or spraying your jizm during coitus interruptus or a bukkake shootout, having foreskin allows you to tap into that absolutely masculine sensation of firing a pump-action shotgun.

7. Your foreskin used to be labia

For all you ignoramuses out there, we were females before we became males. Ergo, your glans was a clit, and your prepuce was labia! Now tell me how horny can this be! Everytime you’re playing with your foreskin, you’re actually playing with the labia of the female that you used to be and no longer is!