Man-Blog

TMB MotherfuCARZ: Fernando: Autopimp 5000.

Editor: Coco Collantes | Supposedly Under: toys | Email this

In honor of the release of the new Knight Rider, we here at TMB decided to come up with a blog series highlighting our own vehicles. Though we’ve always idolized Michael Knight’s K.I.T.T. from the original series, we were kind of offended that NBC looked over our automobiles while casting a new car for the show’s rebirth.

Dejected, we all individually sat down with our cars, handed them a personalized questionnaire, and spoke to them about a variety of topics ranging from current events to, uh, not-so-current events. First up is my very own Fernando: Autopimp 5000.

Name: Fernando: Autopimp 5000
Owner: Coco Collantes
Make/Model: 2005 Mitsubishi Lancer 1.6 GLS A/T OMGWTF
Paint Job: Sedona Red
Favorite Pastimes: Hanging out in the garage, Moving along roads, Moving backwards sometimes, Tennis
Favorite Line from 2 Fast 2 Furious: (Tyrese) Come on, man. Guns, murderers and crooked cops? I was made for this shit, brah!

Coco Likes Having Enemies: The Official Two-Step Guide to Twittering for the Twitter Noob.

Editor: Coco Collantes | Supposedly Under: toys | Email this

I know I’m a year late, but with everyone and their Mom having a Twitter account by now, I just had to see what the fuss was all about. So I recently signed up for the servi—JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST CHEWBACCA IS ON TWITTER.

That’s it, I am officially in love with Twitter.

My first couple of days on Twitter were fine and dandy; I received twits which concerned hooker parties and a video of a Japanese man peeling a banana with his ass, among other things. I, on the other hand, posted updates regarding Mikey’s version of Bim’s Glee Face (this seriously needs a Wikipedia page), and the song “Sweet Baby” by George Duke and Stanley Clarke being stuck in my head.

I mean, come on.

Super Mario GaWiixy

Editor: Pau | Supposedly Under: toys | Email this

No other adage can aptly describe this game more perfectly than “It’s the journey and not the destination.” Well there’s “Every rose has its thorn,” and “You give love a bad name,” and finally “Bed of roses” but we’re not going into that right now.

Anyway, let’s get the bottomline out of the way first; this game is awesome, and every person who lives on Earth who has a Wii should get a copy. It’s awesome not because of the story and the the totally extraneous Rosalina subplot; but because of all the different levels / worlds you get to visit on your way to the final boss battle. Also, it’s awesome because it’s awesome.

It’s like the Wii was made for this game and vice versa. But before I get ahead of myself, let’s break it down:

Story / Plot

People shouldn’t even be concerned with the plot of any Mario game because they’re all the same. Bowser wants to take control of the island/ world / universe and he can’t do it without Princess Peach at his side. So it’s up to Mario to save Peach, and in so doing, the island/ world / universe.

Sucks I know, but you really can’t blame Nintendo for not straying too far from a formula which has sold millions. And to be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Wiinix!

Editor: Pau | Supposedly Under: toys | Email this

So like I said in this post, we just recently purchased a Nintendo Wii. And while a new game console almost always results in blog abandonment, I’m making a compromise. I have decided to simply blog about some of the Wii games I’ve finished playing. Also yes, I have ran out of things to blog. Again.

So Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on the Wii. Be able to cast spells by waving your Wiimote around like a magic wand and explore Hogwarts in its entirety. Basically those two are the only reasons for playing this game at all. If only this game didn’t cost $40.00 then that would have been fine.

Because honestly, being able to explore the entire Hogwarts grounds (something that wasn’t possible in the previous games of the franchise) is pretty awesome. You get to walk down the Grand Staircase. Interact with the various paintings. Take your O.W.L.s. Participate in the various mini games scattered around the school (Wizard’s Chess, Exploding Snap, and another game I never bothered to play). Add the fact that the load times are practically insignificant, then you can consider that couple of hours you need to kill deader than Rock Star Supernova’s career.

Because I like to think my opinions matter: Tekken 6

Editor: Bim Barbieto | Supposedly Under: toys | Email this

I saw the Tekken 6 arcade cabinet at Timezone, Megamall. Actually, I didn’t come across it, I had to follow the howls, the jeers and the cheers from the local Tekken mallrats. There was a huge crowd around the machine, but I was able to sneak past em’.

Here are the few things I just noticed off the bat. Wall hit animations are a fraction of a second longer, which means more time to dish out some punishment. This, of course, changes the gameplay a tad- the urgency to stay away from those walls increased ever so slightly.

The stages are, because it’s in HD, much bigger. I’d say you can see 50% more of the stage than the previous titles.

My Homebrew Atari 2600 Games

Editor: Baddie | Supposedly Under: toys | Email this

Paris Hilton loves to screw. She needs your help in screwing things around her mansion! If you do well enough, she’ll give you the ultimate prize: you get to screw her! But if you fail, you both go to jail where you’ll get to share a cell with the blonde heiress and screw her anyway. That’s a win-win for you, buddy. Experience Screwing with Paris Hilton now!

Weekend Repost Series: Fiddling with Google

Editor: Steel Ventus | Supposedly Under: toys | Email this

News Flash: A bunch of very angry retarded monkeys (ten times as retarded as Ade, which made us editors look like normal people) took over the Man Blog headquarters, deleted the drafts in our database, drank all our Jack and Stoli and stole our porn, leaving us all completely idle for the past couple of days. Mourn with us for a second will you?

Ok that’s enough. So we now kick back in the TMB lounge to drink some booze that’s being served by gorgeous women while playing pool and poker. That made us even lazier. For that reason, I am posting a regurgitated article from exactly a year ago back when I had a penis of a typical teenage Chine…when I was a wee contributor. I picked this one because it features a photo of titties in it. And titties are always awesome.

Gadget Review: HP iPAQ rx4540 Mobile Media Companion

Editor: Fritz Tentativa | Supposedly Under: toys | Email this

As an introduction to the review that follows, please play the video because that in itself is testament to how promising this portable and stylish gadget is.

The HP iPAQ rx4540 Mobile Media Companion does not fall short of its namesake. You could view all sorts of media file formats off it without the hassle of converting video files to either wmv or 3gp, unlike what most mobile phones require. From it, you could listen to any music with the appropriate equalizer settings, care of mobile WinamPAQ. By installing other third party programs, most of them free for download, you could also play just about any portable multimedia file you want.

My Macbook and Gay Fingazzz!

Editor: Mike Villar | Supposedly Under: toys | Email this

iHate, GAY FINGAZZZ!

The thing I hate the most about my Macbook is the way you scroll pages with it. With my old laptop, there is a dedicated portion on the trackpad you simply need to glide your finger up or down on in order to scroll pages. With Macs apparently, you do it by putting two fingers on the trackpad and gliding them to the direction you want to scroll to. Now, this might not sound like a big deal to most of you, but it is really awkward when you do the two finger thing and your pinky perks up like this:

Welcome to The Kingdom of Loathing!

Editor: Baddie | Supposedly Under: toys | Email this

Several hours to go before I get off work. Problem is there’s no work to be done. I’m bored. I’m tired of going to the smoking area to smoke because of the non-smokers who stay there and give me menacing stares. Jerks. I’ve visited all interesting websites and blogs I know of (that are non-porn in nature), and I’m too lazy to explore new ones. Already read all new messages in all the forums I visit. Already reached my daily limit of people to piss off (and on). Already finished with stalking all the stalkables on my Friendster friends list. What’s a bored retard to do? More importantly, what would Jesus do?! Play Kingdom of Loathing, of course!

Kingdom of Loathing is a browser-based multiplayer role playing game that can only be described effectively when you’re drunk and nobody’s listening. The writing is humorous, filled with wit and parody. The graphics… well, two words: stick figures.